Through a fuzzy lens
Posted by Savannah Mayfield on Mon, July 21st 2008 in Self-care
Personal Coach Savannah Mayfield shares some tips to support women who are struggling with body image.
Summer has finally arrived in Portland and the vampires of the great NW are ready to play in the sun! Time to shimmy those pasty legs into shorts and bust out (and as a breastfeeding mom, I am BUSTing out of) the tank tops.
Yesterday I overheard a group of women chatting about the trauma of trying on bathing suits.
As I listened to the mamas nervously laughing about the lighting in changing rooms, the genetic tendency towards cellulite and the desire to only eat fruit for the week proceeding vacation, I saw five beautiful women who don’t really see themselves.
What strikes me the most about listening to women talk about their bodies is that whether they are a size 4 or 14, they rarely feel perfect (or perfectly happy) just the way they are. We see ourselves through a fuzzy lens, blinded by unrealistic expectations, images from the media of genetic rarity and a fear that we are just not good enough.
There is no time more trying than postpartum when it comes to body image. Big milky boobs, a tummy that is newly lined with stretch marks or not quite as flat as before and a feeling of being touched-out from so much holding, feeding and general wrestling of another human being can make a mama feel like her body is more a geographic location than a sexy, feminine form.
And as women, we want to feel attractive. Even at the end of a long, poop-stained day, most of us still want to see the shimmer of appreciation in our partner’s (or our own) eyes.
So what can a mama who is struggling with body image do to wipe the fog from the fuzzy lens?
* Make the best of what you got, all of it. Be willing to see your best self (as those who love you do).
* Be realistic. Few of us are going to blink our eyes and turn into Brooke Shields from the Blue Lagoon (and do we really even want to?).
* Be willing to see the beauty in others. Being critical or jealous of others is a symptom of not accepting yourself.
* If you aren’t fully satisfied with your body, make changes from a place of love. Exercising while thinking about how fat your hips are is not likely to be very sustaining, relaxing or effective.
*See every moment as a choice. In every action and thought, you are making the choice to support yourself (and your goals) or bring yourself down.
* If you feel you need more support, a counselor or trained professional can help you explore any deeper issues and shift your self perception.
And enjoy the sun!
Savannah Mayfield, Personal Coach
http://www.nurturelifecoaching.com
