Postpartum
Posted by Beth Yohalem Ilsley on Tue, April 1st 2008 in Postpartum recovery
Beth Yohalem-Illsley shares candidly about her postpartum experiences and offers supportive tips for challenges that commonly arise.
January 31, 2008
Simon was born 12 days ago. I experienced some symptoms that I was a bit unprepared for but recovery was quick thanks to a few aids:
1. After birth cramps– with each successive birth, uterine cramps increase as the uterus works to regain its original size. These can feel just like early stage contractions, leaving mom to wonder if there is no rest for the weary! Use Vitex (chasteberry) tincture 3x/day. Another helpful aid was Stop Cramping! Tea which has vitex, cramp bark, and many womb nourishing herbs. I drank huge pots of this daily for about 4 days and really noticed a difference by day 4.
2. The belly pooch that flaps in the wind– of course it takes a little while to get your shape back but I didn’t remember feeling like I needed to hold my belly from the bottom when I walked around (similar to how it was during pregnancy)! The most comforting aid for this was a belly wrap. Maternity belts didn’t really fit me but if you have one that you like, that’s a great place to start. I ended up using the wrap part of a Loopi sling but any supportive and mildly stretchy material that you can comfortably wrap and tie around your belly will work. I wore it for 3 weeks postpartum.
3. The emotional roller coaster– this is normal and healthy but still mildly distressing if it persists on a teary level. It is a more serious but COMMON problem if it persists with increasing vehemence. If you feel deep down that everything is ok but in the moment you need some support and room to cry lots of tears, motherwort tincture will provide you with what you need. Full dropperfuls whenever you want that hug, several times per day. I love my motherwort and keep it close to me at all times. If you feel like something is really wrong, you are not bonding with your baby and/or you are on a downward spiral, a thicker layer of support is in order. Start with http://www.babybluesconnection.org for some excellent resources. Remember that it is common to feel peak emotional havoc right around when your milk comes in (day 2-3 postpartum).
4. Clothes– So you are ready to be done with the maternity garb and are looking longingly at the cool and stylish wardrobe that has been idle in your closet since you became pregnant. Soon some of those clothes will fit but be prepared to keep a portion of the maternity clothing around for a few more months, especially items worn in the 2nd trimester. Make sure you control the urge to shop. I made the mistake of going 9 weeks after Simon was born. I swear I look better in my own mirror! It was shocking to try on clothes. I recommend waiting.
5. Sibling dynamics-- We spent a lot of time talking to Jasmine, our daughter, about the fact that she will be an older sister and that there would be a baby joining us. She was allowed to touch and kiss my pregnant belly and ask questions. She was prepared to be present at the birth (Welcome With Love is excellent at describing an older sibling’s experience of being present at a home birth). And she is permitted to touch and hold baby Simon with supervision. All of these things helped a great deal though it is clear she is working out some stress around the fact that Simon is permanent. Some specifics include:
1. Older child’s desire to nurse again. Every family must make their own choice about this. We decided for this first little bit she was allowed the to explore the “nursies” (she is almost 4). What happened is that she pretended to suck on the nipple for a few seconds and moved away satisfied. Now she likes to snuggle on one side of me while Simon nurses the other side. This works ok sometimes. Other families rationalize with the older one that they get to enjoy so many yummy foods and focus on enjoyment of preparing, cooking and eating. (This works sometimes.) And some pull out a present bag for the older one to have a treat when little one is nursing. We are still smoothing out this issue.
2. Role playing. My daughter worked out this new mother business by gathering “eggs” and sitting on them until they hatched. Unfortunately, her little black toy dog liked to squish the eggs, and I was supposed to talk to the doggie about how he should not step on those eggs. We went through this routine for about 20 minutes per day, and I figured something would click for her eventually. It finally did. She stopped the routine and I haven’t seen that black toy doggie since then
3. Positive reinforcement. We are very conscious about telling her what a great big sister she is every time we see her interact with Simon. She seems to respond well to the praise. Likewise, when we have seen her go beyond her capabilities (like trying to scoop Simon up without supporting his head) and react with fear or nervousness, she breaks down and sobs. We are all learning as we go. But the repeated positives really seem to make her proud of her capacity to be a fabulous big sister.
6. Gassy baby– there are some great pressure points to help relieve your baby of some uncomfortable bubbles. The easiest to find and remember are points on either side of the spine in the mid back (specifically on either side of T11 and T12). Use 2 fingers, one on each side of the erector spinae (the long muscles that are just outside the backbone going up and down) and press with the pads of your fingers. Hold for 1-2 seconds before moving down the back. Always move from top to bottom. Another spot is in front, along the midline, halfway between the bottom of the sternum and the belly button. Use your index finger to make gentle pressure and circle clockwise (towards baby’s left). I usually try to count to 9 but if baby is squirming away, stop. A third area for pressure point massage is along either side of the main leg bone (tibia). Gently squeeze with your thumb and another finger on either side of the bone going up and down, hold for only 1-2 seconds with each squeeze. Infant craniosacral therapy also works wonders. Find a practitioner trained to work specifically with infants.
7. Self care– It is most important for mom to regain strength and feel supported. If mom is happy and strong, so is the family. If people offer to help take care of you by cooking meals, doing laundry, holding baby while you nap or shower, TAKE THEM UP ON IT!! This is the time to rely on your community and heal from a full pregnancy and labor. If there is a postpartum doula service accessible to you, use them. You are not being selfish by nourishing yourself and accepting help. Mother truly is the center of the family, and a minimum of several weeks is important recovery time. If your postpartum bleeding increases, it means you are doing too much. Put your feet up, focus on bonding, feeding, changing diapers with this new little one. Nap often. Regain your center of balance. Allow your heart to grow.
Beth Yohalm-Ilsley
http://www.mississippihealthcenter.com
