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Rewards and Bribes

Posted by Beth Yohalem Ilsley on Tue, March 25th 2008 in Mama Wants to Know...

Leave a comment to share your personal experience with rewards and bribes.

Mamas, when do you use rewards and bribes with your kids?

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Comments (6)

Savannah Mayfield on Mar 25th 2008 at 4:19pm #

With my older son Caleb (now almost 16) I did use rewards and bribes. The problem was, it really didn’t work. Maybe the first few times but then I would have to up the reward to keep him interested. And if he didn’t really want to do the thing, he would just say, “I don’t care, I don’t want x anyway.“

With our baby, we are going to focus on getting his “buy in” through connection rather than rewarding. Uhm, easy right now since he is only 1!

Savannah
Beth on Mar 25th 2008 at 4:46pm #

I use them as if/then situations. IF you finish your dinner, THEN you may have dessert. IF you take your bath, THEN you may open that present. IF you sit in your carseat THEN you may have your sippy cup. The list goes on…
Kat Haase on Apr 26th 2008 at 8:33pm #

i’m a single mom and my son sleeps with me. I’ve been nursing my 21 month old to put him to sleep every night. and now, of course, when he wakes up in the night he cries for “nigh nigh” to lull him back to sleep. obviously i’m paying the price for taking the easy way. but it’s really disrupting both of our sleep when we’re at the point where he should be sleeping through the night. trying to go “cold turkey” has made him cry hysterically to the point of almost getting sick. so i need to find a gentle transition. any suggestions?
Savannah on Apr 26th 2008 at 9:10pm #

Kat,

I am so there with you! My thirteen month old nurses often in the night and we are working towards night weaning (very slowly). I have heard great feedback about the Dr. Jay Gordon gentle nightweaning program. Here is a link:
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Give yourself a lot of empathy. It is hard enough to night-time parent a child when you have a partner to help. For single moms, it is even more exhausting. In the end, finding a balance between what works for you and what serves your son’s needs is the key.

Keep us posted how it goes!
Beth on Apr 27th 2008 at 9:47pm #

We gave our daughter a sippy cup with water to have by the bedside. That way she could help herself to sucking and snuggles without waking me up. Sleep is one of the really tricky pieces to sort out. My 4 year old still sneaks into my bed at night.

Best to you and your son!
Kat on Apr 28th 2008 at 6:20am #

Thank you for your helpful ideas! I checked out Dr. Jay Gordon and liked what he had to say very much and will try to work with his “sleep plan”. Will keep you posted.

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