I hate breastfeeding!
Posted by Kimberly Bepler on Mon, September 21st 2009 in Breastfeeding
Hi Kimberly,
Every thing is turning around with breastfeeding, my milk supply is going down, I have sore nipples….Really, I can’t bear it any more.
I’m sick of breastfeeding!
My son is now 10 months old and still not willing to eat propperly with the spoon. I still have to breastfeed him after meals. I guess he is not taking me seriously with the spoon and think it’s a game.
I’m tired of that. I try and try and try and started feeding him with the spoon when he was 4 months old. I cannot enjoy breastfeeding any more. I hate it. And worst thing is that he is so dependent on me.
I also looked up information on German websites and asked friends and family, but no one could give me a hint (except try and try and try).
Please help me. You have so much experience. I don’t know what to do.
Thanks in advance!
Answer
Wow, you have really stuck it out through some hard times. This doesn’t sound very pleasant! My first thought is to head to the lactation clinic to see what is going on (sore nipples at 10 months could mean many things; yeast, teething, pregnancy, etc). These would be good to look at first.
If you rule those out, here are a couple questions:
Is he taking any bottles? Is there any way you could pump and feed him breastmilk through a bottle? Can you feed him formula to give you a break now and then?
If there is a way to take a “breastfeeding holiday” (we would call it a breastfeeding vacation) and just give your breasts a rest for a bit (using the pump to maintain milk supply)?
If there are no bottle options, I would consider switching things up considerably for a little bit. Why not try feeding him outside when he is distracted? What if you tried feeding him solids when he is sleepy before or right after a nap so he isn’t so into fighting you? What if you fed him while you were eating but looked like you were disinterested and not really paying attention?
How about having your partner feed him during the morning and evening so there is less game playing with you? This might only shift the problem but at least it would give you a mental break
which is worth something when you are struggling with a toddler.
One way to get some solids in but with less focus on having to breastfeed would be to mix breastmilk (or formula, if that is all you have) with the food. That way you are getting a more calorie and nutrient dense food that should satisfy your little one so you don’t have to satsify his hunger with breastfeeding afterward.
Food can be more finger food than creamy food at this age, and that might also change the dynamic of feeding completely. Babies this age can take Cheerios or small vegie bits that have been steamed, chopped up meats and even soft fruits that are in tiny chunks and you can just spread them out on the tray of the highchair. It might be that feeding him at this age doesn’t allow him enough control over his little world, and by playing with you he is trying to exert the control he does have; his relationship with you!
Have you tried a cup or sippy? There are some straw cups that are very different than a sippy cup and some babies take to them really well.
How long was your goal for breastfeeding? Have you reached it or do you have some time left in your plan? If there are still more months to go, think about what would make sense to you as far as continuing. Could you feed him on solids and bottles or cups during the day, and breastfeed around nap or bedtimes only? That might make it separate enough to keep breastfeeding in the nurturing department and have it be less of a food and more of a soothing/bonding time instead.
I hear you being tired of breastfeeding, but I would also say that breastfeeding a 10 month old shouldn’t be so taxing. Usually by 10 months it is a breeze, and many moms want to continue way past a year. If this was your plan, let’s see if there is a breastfeeding problem first that is fixable. If not, let’s see what we have to do to adapt your original plan. Sometimes we make goals that need to be changed when circumstances arise…this might be one of those times.
Either way, let’s get you some more options and possibly a lactation visit (or take a pregnancy test?). You might be experiencing something that has little do with your baby, but will be enlightening none the less!
Way to go for making it this far! You are a super breastfeeding mama!
Kimberly Bepler
ABC Doula Service
